Best Friends Forever” can easily turn into “Barely Friends Frankly” before you know it. You may have referred to your BFF as your soul mate – the one who was supposed to be in your life till the very end. Until one day you realize that the only way you really get updated about his/her life is through random, interestingly misleading Facebook posts. That's when you know it's over.
You have your secret jokes that are lame yet surprisingly funny to you, puns only you both get, the telepathic communication through eye contact, and the shameless admitting of the stupidest things you did. The first person you think of when something happens to you or when you need to spill a piece of life-changing gossip, is your BFF. Of course, physical distance and differences in time zones can be plausible barriers but if you are truly BFFs, it won't matter.
Life isn't perfect and your BFF may become a stranger in the course of only a few months. Suddenly, you'll be able to relate to lyrics like “now you're just somebody that I used to know” or “we don't talk anymore, like we used to do”. This is not an easy process and it's usually hard to notice, especially when you're self absorbed. Now, the very first stage is denial. You will often find yourself finding excuses for them when they ditch a planned-for-weeks meet up or when they get caught telling little lies every now and then. “Maybe he's very busy” or “It's alright, I know she'll make it up to me”. We all have our own lives right?
Once this goes on for a little while, reality hits you and the evaluation starts. You start validating your thoughts. Sometimes sheer distance is not the only reason why the rifts are created. It may be because one of you accidentally or intentionally (which is a million times worse) hurt the other or simply because one of you changed. Toxic feelings and grudges held in are bad for all kinds of relationships. When it comes to change, there isn't much you can do about it, though it definitely isn't as traumatic as hurting one another. If you do feel your friendship is worth saving and cherishing, you should put your ego aside and really reach out to the person. If it still doesn't work out…
Well then this chapter of your life is over. Know that if you treat a temporary friend as your best friend, you'll have to suffer. Make sure you learn the difference between best friends forever and just friends for now. Not everyone who comes in your life is meant to stay. Trust your conscious decisions. Understand that the falling happened, learn something from it, keep the memories and move on. Pretty sure while you're going through this journey, another BFF is in the making.
Faria Khan is an ambivert who truly believes in the divine power of music. Give her a piece of your mind at email@example.com